Every Inbetween
by XFireSermonX
Summary: Every lost year, all the moments suspended and every unspoken prayer. This is every inbetween.


A/N: I really can't believe that I wrote this. When I started writing this four hours ago it was not even close to being A/H. I mean, I ship very very rarely and it's never A/H if I do. I even wrote in an author's note for _The Pleasures of the Damned _about how much I dislike A/H...so I don't know what happened. Here I am, eating my words. It just _happened. _But that's the way writing is, sometimes it just takes you places you didn't think you'd go, sometimes it just doesn't make sense without some angsty romance. So here ya go! It's entirely random, the first of many. This is my new series of one shots and drabbles. Enjoy.

p.s: The next chapter of _The Pleasures of the Damned _is on it's way, don't worry. So for everyone who is waiting, I'm sorry, this story just attacked me randomly and I've had writers block lately so I went with it.

p.p.s- The song that I wrote along to is: Fly by Dave Matthews Band

xxx

Every Inbetween

She had caught him, on a narrow street in Bangladesh. She didn't even know why she had stopped, she had been staking out a weapons facility, there had been an epidemic of illegal human firearms in east Haven and she'd gotten a false lead. She was tired, she was heading back to W17 and honestly, she couldn't even remember why she had descended in the first place. It was sunset and the sky was on fire, she had landed lightly in the center of a bustling city street. The myriad of people rotating between vendors, they seemed not to pay any mind to the blood orange sky but Holly was transfixed. She stood in the center of the chaos and relished the feeling of being invisible. She bent to touch the dry earth morphing into sand and then dust. It had been two years since her last above ground visit. She had paper work to do and interns to babysit. She could be late.

She had turned the corner, she was looking for nothing in particular.

He didn't even look surprised and she hadn't been. They both knew by now, fate had a way of bringing them together. No matter the circumstance or the impossible odds, no matter the years spent apart or the official death certificates. They would always find each other.

"You're supposed to be dead." She said matter-of-factly, as if she were simply telling him he was late for work. As if she hadn't been hoping against the odds that had finally run dry. As if it hadn't been years.

"You're not supposed to exist." He sounded much the same.

They stared at each other, not knowing what to do, unable to speak. Unwilling to move.

Holly felt specifically responsible for preserving this moment, as if the continued existence or phantom of Artemis Fowl II was dependent solely on her ability not to breath. If she did he would disappear again and that would be it, no more chances now. No more magic spells. He'd be a wisp of smoke in the wind. She felt as if the universe was putting down its foot on this continued series of coincidences once and for all.

"Are you leaving?" Artemis broke the silence, staring into the unseen eyes of Holly short, those around him cleared a wide birth for the fellow who was talking to the sun blackened remains of a shrub.

Holly nodded and somehow Artemis saw, he grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her through the crowd. Trailing numbly behind him she couldn't connect to the moment. Yesterday she had gone to work, bought socks at the department store, she had gone to the cafe with Luna, she had gone to sleep alone and he had been dead. Five minutes ago she had been thinking about whether or not she could get away with forcing the new interns to fill out her unholy amount of paper work and he had been dead. She had flown across the world on a hunch and he had been dead. And then two minutes ago she had turned a random corner on a random market street in a random city in Bangladesh and there he was. Alive. Older. Much the same. He was there and then he was gone. He was dead and then he wasn't. And then he was. And now what?

But isn't that the way it's always been?

Will this always be how it is?

She let him lead her out of the city and away from any people. They stopped in front of a set of railroad tracks, they seemed extremely odd, so randomly placed in the middle of nowhere.

The world swam around her, all she could focus on was him. He was solid, real. He was standing next to her, breathing. Her chest ached with things she could not name, something delicate and rare was breaking beneath her skin.

"Where have you been?"

"You don't want to know."

"I really do. I'd really like to know what the hell you've been doing for two years." She was angry now, gaining momentum.

He looked everywhere but at her, squinting in the sun. She resisted the urge to shake him, to scream. Luckily the train was approaching and Artemis was doing something Holly had not expected, he was getting ready. He looked down at her and smiled genuinely.

"Ready to jump? It'll be just like old times."

She smiled despite herself. "Your kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not. They don't have passenger trains here. We'll have to make due with this for now."

Holly shook her head. "Artemis Fowl, willingly jumping onto moving trains. If only Butler could see you now."

And then the train passed in a blur of corroded metal and clanking joints, Artemis crouched slightly and leaped almost gracefully onto a small ledge, yanked back the heavy door and disappeared inside. Safe. Holly took a few second just to watch, amazed at the fact that his limbs were still intact and he hadn't busted his nose or gauged something out. Shaking her head bemusedly she followed suit, activated her wings and met him in the confines of the boxcar.

"I see you're not entirely helpless anymore, Mud boy."

He looked down and smiled slightly. "No. Not entirely." He watched the scenery flash by in a blur of heat and bland cityscape, his eyes distant and somewhat troubled.

"How long have you been here?" Holly asked, taking a seat on one of the various crates that littered the small space.

"Only two months, I ran into some trouble and needed a place to hide. It's fairly easy to get lost here, I've been doing alright."

"What kind of trouble?"

He shook his head. "The kind you don't talk about."

"Drugs?" Her voice was light and kind in a way Artemis had not expected it to be.

"Worse."

"Jesus, Artemis."

"It happens." He still wouldn't look at her, his face contorted with hurt for the briefest of moments, his lip curling in disgust with either himself or perhaps just his thoughts.

They spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence until Artemis stood abruptly, walked slowly to the half open door with his hands in his pockets and then jumped out in one swift motion. Holly followed on her wings, catching up to the genius as he brushed dirt from his cargo pants.

She simply watched him, absorbing the startling difference between this young man and the child she had buried twice. He was dressed in a dark gray t-shirt over black military style cargo pants, rough material that seemed as if it had been used to its full potential. He also wore a heavy pair of black combat boots that left deep prints in the dry earth. His arms were sinewy and strong, he had filled out quite a bit. His features were sharp as flint, his eyes were a concentrated blue that seemed wild against the paleness of his skin. His charcoal hair was cut choppy, shorter than she had ever seen it and mussed by wind and sweat.

He lead her to a run down motel, led her up several flights of stairs and into room 407. She gave him an incredulous look when he opened the door and walked inside as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. The room was completely unfit to be lived in, besides the bed it was devoid of furniture and the ceiling sagged with water damage. Ominous looking cracks spread across the walls and the carpet was missing in huge chunks. Holly held her tongue, she didn't need to rub it in.

As soon as he closed the door behind them, silence came rushing to meet Holly, cruel and indifferent. It happened so fast that she was reminded of the story Vinyaya had told her, years ago when she had responded to her first suicide. Some pixie had thrown herself from the top floor of her apartment building and survived, she'd told Vinyaya, blinking up through tears and blood, through a wrecked face lying on the stretcher, how the second she jumped she knew, _knew_, that she didn't want to die. But the asphalt came anyway, cold and hard. Unforgiving. And she couldn't stop it. And now Holly couldn't stop this, whatever it was that she had just started. Whatever it was that she had dug up from the grave. She wasn't sure that she wanted it but there was no going back, they were in this room and the door was locked. It was silent and he was breathing, _breathing_, right beside her. The world was gone now and it was just the two of them and he was supposed to be dead and she had climbed up on the ledge and jumped from the fourth story balcony and hadn't bothered to look down...and now...

_'Oh Gods.'_

She turned on him. "You're supposed to be dead!" she sobbed, raising her hand to him, warding him off.

He approached her carefully, as if she were a wild animal. He knew her well. He wasn't surprised by the sudden outburst.

"We've been over this." He said calmly.

"We haven't been over shit!"

"Then we'll talk about it."

"I don't want to talk about it, I want you to tell me why." she sniffled, eyes red and puffy. "Right now, or I'm leaving." Her chest filled with the impossibility of it all and she felt somehow that she were lost and very far away from anyone who could help her. In a way she was.

Artemis regarded her silently, lips pressed into a thin line as if he didn't know what to say or like he was trying to keep from telling the truth. His eyes were glassy, penetrating as ever.

"Well?" She said testily, her voice raw.

Artemis sat heavily on the mattress, which squeaked its distress. They were the same height this way. He sighed apprehensively and played with the hem of his shirt. His eyes were wet.

"I'm thinking."

"Don't think Artemis. Just tell me the truth. You wouldn't have to think if you'd just be honest."

He stayed silent, staring at his hands. Holly crossed her arms and shook her head, tears filling her eyes again.

"Don't you dare lie to me. Not now. Not after what you've done."

He looked at her with pleading eyes. She closed the distance between them, her nose almost touching his.

"I went to your funeral twice." She said darkly through her teeth.

Gently he leaned his forehead against hers and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing his hands on the small of her back and pressed her into him. He was surprisingly warm. As she drew back he kissed her. She could feel his tears on her face, finally falling. He trembled slightly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Over and over.

She nodded once and then again, she leaned back to stare into his eyes and then slowly, very gently, she kissed him. It was almost as if they were asking each others permission. Back and forth, in lieu of words, with more tenderness than either of them had ever experienced.

_Can I get this close?_

_Yes._

_What kind of love is this?_

_I don't know, just take it. _

It was Artemis who pulled Holly into his lap and then onto the bed, it was Holly who undressed them. They were gentle and then suddenly they weren't. Artemis pressed Holly into the mattress with his weight, cupping her face and kissing her savagely. Holly wrapped her legs around his waist as he went for the hollow of her throat, her ears. Holly dug her finger nails into his skin, anyplace she could, he cried out and she made a sound half way between a moan and a sob. She hit him, he didn't stop her. It went on like that, they traded scars without a single word. They lashed out and made love in the dim light, beneath the cracked ceiling.

When it was over she pressed her forehead to his. He was bleeding but he smiled anyway.

_Is this it?_

_It's all I have for now._

"What comes next?" She whispered.

"I...don't know." He drew back and looked at her, wanting an answer of some sort. "I don't know, Holly."

She stayed for three days, he disabled her helmet, cut all connections to Haven, to police plaza. She took off her suit and stashed in the closet with the helmet, she wore one of his shirts. He left only to get food and water. She left the bed only to use the bathroom. They talked all night and slept during the day, they made love more times than they could count. It was hard to believe there had been any other life, that there was any other life outside of this. And only when Holly was completely sure that they had a lock on her location, did she ask him.

"Come back." Her eyes were steady and clear. "Stop all this."

Her returned her gaze. "That's what I've been trying to do."

She looked away, suddenly exasperated. "What does that even mean? After all you've done to keep your family together you'd think that you would want to be around them."

"Do you know how many people have died, fallen ill, lost a limb or gone bankrupt in my prescence since I left?"

She staid silent.

"Zero." He finished harshly and lowered his eyes. "It's not that I don't want to be with them Holly, you know that." He shook his head slowly, two years of isolation falling across his features. "I can't hurt them anymore. I can't hurt you anymore."

"Well you did. You still are."

"It was supposed to be the last time."

"It will never be 'the last time'." She stood, pulling the baggy shirt down, her face red. "All you do is destroy." Her voice was level and somehow far more threatening than when she had screamed. "Everything you touch..." she backed away. "Everything you do..." She shook her head, unable to finish.

"I know."

"You know nothing." She crossed to the closet and pulled out her gear. "I'm leaving, get ready."

"Holly, I'm not going with you." It sounded like an apology and it grated on Holly's nerves.

"You keep saying that, may I remind you that you don't need to be concious for this trip. In fact I would prefer it that way."

"Holly, I can't go back now. You know I can't. Besides the turmoil it would bring to my family, how could I ever explain myself? How can I justify what I've done?" He was desperately trying to reach her, to cut through her fog of renewed grief.

"I don't care." She spoke without looking at him. "There is no justifying it this time Artemis, but you're coming home. I'm taking you back."

Depite himself, Artemis couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for her.

"On one condition."

"Oh don't even start." She shot him a cutting glare.

"If you stay, If we can be together...I'll come back."

"Artemis, you know-

"Then no."

"That is not a reason to isolate yourself here. You are not going to use me as an excuse to run from your life."

"It's not my life anymore. And those are my terms."

"I am not here to negotiate with you, Artemis."

"Of course not. You're here to play house for a few days, take a bite out that forbidden fruit, but as soon as you bring me back it will be like it never happened. I never thought you'd be so ashamed of breaking the rules, Captain."

She turned on him, jabbing a finger in his face. "I am not ashamed!"

"You have been ashamed of me ever since Rathdown Park. Ever since Orion. And here, so far away from everyone, you finally give in. I always thought you fought for what you wanted, for what you believed was right. But there is a part of you that doesn't believe in this. In what we have. Ther is a part of you that's ashamed to love me."

She looked at him and then upward as if pleading with some diety, shame flushing her face.

"You came here with me." He continued, forcing the words that he had made himself burry for years. "You _chose_ to come here, you could have left. You kissed me back. You loved me for two days and I _know_ it's not enough for you." His words were a strange mix of conviction and desperation. He was standing in front of her now, hands shaking slightly. "I also know that as soon as that door shuts behind us and you take me back to the real world, this will all just be a memory to you. But it won't be like that for me Holly and you know that, you are certain of that. You knew the entire time and still you let it happen."

"Don't.." She whispered, wide eyes red rimmed.

He held up his hand at her words and they died in her throat. "I just want you to remember, I just want to _inform_ you, Holly, that you can manipulate too. If it means enough to you and if you want it bad enough, you _will_ take from those who have less, you _will_ lie to save what's dear to you. You _will_ hurt someone, just so you can feel loved." His eyes searched her, hollowed her out. "And if all of that makes _me_ a monster, and I can at least admit to it, then what does that make you?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Artemis. That's not what I wanted."

"Well you did. You still are."

"Please. Just...please."

"What did you want?"

"I don't know." Her voice sounded Hollow and raspy to her own ears.

"If you didn't mean to hurt me and you didn't plan on being with me. Then you might want to ask yourself, what did you really want?"

She put a hand over her face, her mind swimming. It was too much.

"Well?" He pushed, angry in a way he had never felt before. "Why did you sleep with a dead boy?"

"Because I didn't know how long I could have you and I couldn't get close enough, one minute your real and the next..." She was sobbing now. "And...and I just...I wanted to _have_ you, for just a moment, for you to be here with me and...from the second I turned that corner and saw you I've been counting the seconds until you're gone again. I've been holding my breath for two days, waiting for the blood or the smoke and mirrors and I...Gods...I can't live like that...I won't live like that."

He pulled her into him as she sobbed, cradling her head. "I know."

He held her until her body quieted, until there was nothing but silence and sharp unspoken words. And then she pulled away, pulled off his shirt and got dressed in her gear. She walked to the door, her helmet under one arm, and turned to him.

"I don't know what to say now...What could I possibly say that could change any of this?"

"Let it be. Go home before you decide that you can't." There was no more malice in his words.

"Are you forgiving me?"

"There is nothing to forgive." He smiled the best he could manage. "This is how it needs to be."

"I know." She lingered, daring herself for a few brief moments, locking his gaze as he read her mind, as he asked for her and offered to her a thousand quiet blessings in return for tradgedys he could not yet name. And this time would be the last time, this would be as even as they could get, both empty handed, both almost satisfied.

She opened the door and turned to face the gilded sky, each cloud dusted with gold as the day burnt itself out. He watched her climb the banister, steady herself without looking back, and jump bodily into the air. She fell, straight down, he was sure. When he reached the ledge, leaning over the metal bars, she was gone. He tried to catch her shimmering form among the arid landscape or hovering like ancient magic against the dying light, but the air moved with heat and she could have been any other mirage.

XxXx

I literally wrote this and posted it, its unedited so forgive any confusion. Let me know what you think. If you don't understand what's going on feel free to message me and I'll explain. Thanks for reading!

Please review,it is much appreciated =]


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